Generally this is an issue pointing at the server being lagged to death. Increase RAM if you can. Add a world border. Pregen chunks if you can. Etc etc etc
Thanks for the Reply, i know about the world border thing i will try that but im not sure what you mean or how i would "pregen chunks" i know what chunks are and i assume pregening them would mean loading them before joining? or something like that
but how would i go about that?
also i cant really add more RAM since only have 8GB and a skinny bank account so more Ram isent really an option
also i would like to add, that in the sevrer as i said i have 3GB running the server and 4GB for running the game question is, which one should i give more ram the server or my minecraft instance?